A father's advice

Earlier last week, we received a circular from Jenna's school, encouraging their students to return to school after the CNY break, in their CNY ethnic costumes. Before putting on  her costume, I heard Jenna asking her father to double confirm this.

 

When Chin Hoe came home after ferrying her to the bus-stop, he told me that the entire school busload of students were in their school uniform. Jenna was among the last few to board the bus. Before the bus left, one more girl jioned her in traditional CNY attire.

 

Needless to say, the 2 girls felt out-of place.

 

The girl approached Jenna and said it was her mom who enouraged her to wear the CNY clothes. Of course, Jenna reciprocated that for her case, her dad was the one to encourage her. Both were regretful that they were in the CNY attire.

 

When the school bus turned into the school, Jenna immediatley stood up, stretched her neck out to see the attire of the rest of the school gathered at the field.

 

Imagine the relief she felt when she saw half of them in CNY clothes.

 

What about her class? 6 out of 7 girls were in ethnic attire. Did she feel relieved then? You bet.Did she had doubts about her father's advice during the trip to school? You bet.

 

Last night, my hubby taught my girl a lesson. She was told to remember her feelings of doubt and relief. Because in life, there will be times when you do what is right but are in doubt because of the people around you. It could be in the area of smoking, etc. Perhaps her peers are all smokes except her.

 

I thought, isn't this a wonderful lesson for us as well?

 

Love. Soon Keow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Am i blessed or am i spoil??

My husband and i had married for four years. Yeah, we're still very young couple. Still have so much to learn from those oldest married. Ha ha ha.... Our married can be say, still great, romantic, lovely and peace. We hardly quarrel. Yes, we did had few disagreement, end up angry with each other instead of fight or big quarrel. When comes to this problem, my husband was always the one who make a move. No matter who's right or wrong (of course both are wrong), my husband still make the first move. He always humble to me and asked for forgiveness.

Most of you know, we are mix married. We both born and grow up in totally different country. Learn totally different from school, have totally different kind of friends and jobs, eat totally different type of food. Of course, when both live together, life style are totally different too. Just likes most married couples, you have your way, i have my way. Somehow, God make it works for us. We're not as popular as John and Karen. But because of my story, and my husband who make the different in church. We somehow a bit popular. Good is, lot of people knows us. Bad is, we actually had stress by showing good example to others (afraid of making mistake).

Well.... In this four years. My husband never ever ask me to wake him up for work, wash his clothing, iron his uniforms, pack his luggage, changing his towel and socks, clean the messy house, cook the food that he want and the list so much on.... Yes, i say it again, he never ask me at all. He wake up everyday for work by himself. If he overslept, he never shout or scream, or make lot of banding noise. He still quietly clean himself and go off. When uniforms are dirty, he will put one side and he will wash it later. Most of the times i see it, i will pick up, wash it and fold it back for him. He will thanks me every time i do it. There's lot of times i forget too. He never yell or scold me for not doing it. He blame himself for not doing his job. He never ask me to iron his clothing, he do all by himself. He knows when to change dirty clothing, towel, underwear, socks by himself. If he need any urgent clothing, he will pick and wash it by himself. Every time out of town, he will pack his luggage by himself without me. Whatever i cook, he will just eat without complain. I admit, that's those time i cook, it taste yuck. I really throw aways those food, after i taste it the way not i want to be. To my husband, he taste it all right. He will still eat it, unless i asked him not too. He never complain why yesterday food are better than today food. He never. When he looks at the house was so messy, he never complain why i did not clean and pack the house, since i stay at home the whole day. He let me be.

How about when we had disagreement and get angry with each other? Guess what? My husband never fail to cover me with blanket, give me goodbye kiss and come back home kiss. Yes, when we get angry, my husband will still make sure i get the blanket cover and kiss me and say "I love you" then walk away. He will deal with it when he back home. My husband wakes up early in the morning at around 5am. How do i know whether he kiss me or not while i still sleeping and dreaming? I actually test him couples of time. Ha ha ha.... So bad right! My husband will kiss me one, if i not response, he kiss me the second time, and the same the third time. If i still not response, he will still go to work. He will text me and tell me he love me, give me three kisses when i still sleeping. When i response to his kiss, he will wish me a great day or will say "I love you". After his work, he will called home to check anything i want or need to buy when he on the way back. No matter is one item or few items, my husband never complain why i so troublesome. The last, my husband never complain why i spent so much money. He did not limited what amount i spent. He allow me to buy what i want, and use credit card when i want. He never check what i buy, what on the list, or show him receipt. He never ask for it at all. When he saw the bills, he just pay for it without any question ask. The worse is grocery, i can buy lot of baking stuffs and play with my cooking and baking. My grocery will cost between US$250 to US$400 a month, sometime more than that. He still never complain what i buy. He just go to the cashier and pay for it. He even push the cart for me, i just throw whatever i pick on the shelves. My husband never let me carry bags of stuffs, he will carry all for me. He still open doors for me when we still dating, until now he still do the same. He never complain about my "xiao jia temper". He will leave me alone when i angry, and will asked me more when i cool down.

So what i actually do at home?? Just take care of baby, cooking/baking and spent money?? Sisters, you will think this type of man is very hard to find nowadays. Brothers, you will say my husband spoil the market. Guess what? Nobody is perfect, my husband has his ugly side too. But i never record his ugly side, and i never want to tell others about it. If you want me to share, i will get Grr...... Worst than my kids. My kids, i can punish them, scold them, teach them, but husband i cant. So i just accept him, because he always the perfect husband, father in my heart. He also my hero, who serve and protect the country. Without him, i will not have peace sleep. Without him, i will not enjoy my life now. So am i blessed or am i spoil? I had asked myself this question for few times. I think is both. God blessed me this wonderful man, my husband spoil me to show how much he loves me.

Love you
Diana

Back to Civilization (but do I like it???)

Just came back from a 3D2N stay at D'Kranji Farm Resort. Yeah, call me banana, but I simply hate the superficiality of meeting relatives whom you meet just once year and act like so buddy buddy. Lagi worse, give so much ang pow to practically strangers. And Adrian has a real huge extended family!!! Eversince the kids came along the way, nothing beats saving up this sum of money to spend on a short vacation with them. And fortunately I have equally banana parents and understanding fater-in-law who don't really care if we turn up to 'bai nian', so we escap easily lor!

Honestly D'Kranji Farm Resort is not an ideal place to go to during CNY. Many of the shops are closed. Besides, being officially opened only last August and most shops started only last October, facilities are minimal. Prices of beeakfast menu (only provision for 2) and seafood restaurant (the other food outlet) is incredulously high. But we still had great fun, for I never go to any resort in Singapore without my portable gas stove, extra gas and my pot. So I'm always ready to give the high-ended food a miss and have my own steamboat or noodles or pasta or whatever I can think of whipping up, especially if there is a balcony to let the smell of cooking out of the room. This time we has a Sunday dinner of instant noodles without MSG, fishballs and beef slices, then Monday lunch today of linguine with canned pork stew and button mushroom. For dinner we tried out the seafood restaurant and it was realy yummy, but really expensive man... Resourceful enough?

My balcony faces the road where occasionally you see curious drivers driving up to see what is this resort all about. Adrian thought he prefered the oter side of the villas, but I reminded him that despite the man-made road and occasional motorists, everything else is God's very own creation. If we had lived at the other side of the villas, we may not face the road, but all crops are artificially planted specially for the resort. I had so much great time outside the balcony enjoying the scenery, appreciating God's creations, imagining if the Garden of Eden would be just as peaceful if we had not been banished from it. And not forgetting it served as my kitchen too!

I really appreciate this outing where I felt I've left this world of strife. Coming back to reality, I would suggest to you sisters that should you want to visit this place too, you either go ow when it is still partially developed and hence peaceful, or give it 6 to 9 months to fully develop but become commercialised. The choice is yours. Visit http://www.dkranji.com.sg/ for more details.

Love you all!

Meeting the 'Unmeetables'

Feel much better today strangely. Perhaps it's because of Juvena, now that she is safely with God and no longer dangling somewhere in between, I feel happy for her in fact. To be dead yet alive is the most painful state one can ever be in, both for self and for family, so I think we could say things have ended well for Juvena.

Had some strange encounters lately. When Adrian was away in KL last week, I couldn't wake up in time to send the kids to school due to my medications being taken too late the night before. Then in a blurry state, I saw Natalie coming into the room to wake me up and Adrian telling her not to disturb my sleep. I immediately jumped up, remembering Adrian was away in KL. I had suficient time to pack the kids off to school and immediately called Adrian to see if he was well and ok. Don't say I superstitious, but the dream was so real.

Adrian has been down with a bad flu and cough for 4 days and on MC, back to work yesterday. His cough mixture knocks him out completely and I was sleeping like a dead log as I had insomnia last night andhad to rely on sleeping tablets. Suddenly someone in white robes entered my room without knocking, floating above ground. And in a very pleasant voice he said,"My dear disciple, you've got to wake up and get the kids ready for school, or they will realy be late." And with that, He lifted His arms and ascended through my ceiling. I woke up with a shock and realised that it was already 6.40am!

Gosh, I wonder who am I going to dream of next. I've seen God in a burning bush, Adrian appearing mysteriously when he should have ben in KL, now Jesus ascending heaven through my ceiling. I don't know how much more I can take. Honestly I feel a bit like Mavis Hee. Maybe one day I will come to you and demand that you call me your guardian angel!!! Hahaha!!!

Gong Xi Fa Cai

 

 

       

 

 

  Wishing You & Your Family 

A Happy & Prosperous Lunar New Year

 

 

 

Gong Xi Fa Cai 

 

 Love, Just.

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JOY

How are you sisters?  I know we are all sadden by our sister, Juvena's departure. Should we be joyful now....

 

While i am still working on the fruit of spirit - Love this month, i thought let me just peep into the next chapter on Joy. Dont we all need this now?  I couldnt wait till next month to start reading.

 

John 16:24, God desire that our joy be full but so often affliction, loss, stress, and pain can easily rob our joy away, right sisters?  In John 15, the bible talks about when we remain in Him, abide in Him and His love we will experience true joy, joy to the fullest.  But why am i so easily shaken? The book talks about there is a different between joy and happiness.  Happiness is not spiritual joy.  It is a state of good fortune and prosperity related to and dependent on our circumstances.  If all is going well, we are happy; but as soon as some dark cloud or irritation enters our life, our happiness vanishes.  Happiness can be a false joy, happiness is elusive.  As children of God, we have some great reasons to be joyful in regardless of what circumstances we are in.

Reason 1 : Our joy is permanent.  Because our joy is rooted in our all-loving and unchanging God, our joy is permanent.  In John 16:22 Jesus says that "no one takes your joy away from you."  However, one thing that can rob us of the joy God provides is our failure to walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16).  The Holy Spirit causes this fruit to grow in our lives as we abide in Christ and walk in obedience to His ways.

Enough for now, as this so much i can ponder and digest today.

 

Love, Just.

 

 

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Our Big Decision

So much has happened recently, and I dare say we're all pretty downcasted. In the midst of all the unhappiness and unsettling, Adrian and I made a major decision today. It may sound like we're faithless, but we believe it is for the best for the whole society as well as our family. We will be sending in our pledge form for the Advanced Therapy Act, whereby in the event that we are declared brain dead, all life supporting equipment will be taken of and all our organs will be donated either for the purpose of transplant or medical research purposes. Major decision, but easier made by ourselves when we're alive and sane than for our family especially spouse to do it when something happens to us. Anyone game to join us?

Trusting God

I am on child MC today, as my 3 yr old boy is sick. He has been coughing for nearly 6 months (asthmatic cough). I find his cough so tricky, and sometimes feel like I am at my wit's end about it.

But I thank God for the time I can have at home, spending time with son, and doing my QT, blogging etc.

Like to share some insights as I read the book of Jeremiah. It is really a book about trusting God.

1) Jeremiah prophesied during the reign of the last 5 kings of Judah. That is a long period of time! At that time, Jerusalem is near its end. Jeremiah prophesied about the capture of the city and the exile of the Jews to Babylon. His main purpose was to turn the people back from their sins, so that they would repent and God would change his mind and rescue them. People never like to hear bad news. The kings (most of them) of course were not too pleased - imagine if you are the king, and this prophet keeps telling you that your city will definitely be destroyed, you will definitely be captured and brought to the enemy's land etc etc.. no good news, only bad. Hence, Jeremiah faced challenges and danger as he strove to speak God's words to the people.

The trust he had in God is incredible, he survived various hardship such as being thrown into prison, being thrown into a cistern and he was nearly captured and brought to Babylon when the city fell. However, each time, God saved him from the peril.

The thing I am amazed by is how Jeremiah could stand up to total opposition, resentment and enmity, and continued to speak God's words. I don't think I would have the courage and strength to do that if I were him. John Louis preached about fighting the good fight, and the need to talk to our friends' if their doctrines are incorrect. That is something I need to repent and change in. I must be more like Jeremiah, not always bound by fear in such circumstances. (To do that, I must delve deeper into the bible :) )

2) Ebed-Melech. This character is really a minor character in the bible, or even in the book Jeremiah. When Jeremiah was thrown into the cistern, with the appoval of King Zedekiah, Ebed-Melech had the courage to approach the king, who changed his mind and asked Ebed-Melech to go and get Jeremiah out of the cistern.

When Jerusalem fell, God specifically told Jeremiah to go to Ebed-Melech with a message, that God would save him, he would not fall by the sword "beacause you trust in me." - Jeremiah 39 and 39.

Ebed-Melech was just a normal Joe like us, his deeds were definitely not as "phenomenal" as Jeremiah, but I think the message here that God wants us to know is he rewards us when we trust in him.


So sisters, I hope that the little insight above will help us trust in God especially in the things that worry us the most.

A Poem to Hannah

Dear sisters,

 

   read the blogs, think many of us are feeling down, probable the entire church is. Can't help thinking of Hannah. So thoughts just flowed. Forgive this unpolished poem of mine.

 

love,sk

 

Letting Go- A tribute to Hannah, Samuel's mother

 

You have waited years for this moment.

Tears of pain and sorrow had been your lament

Finally today, with a surrendered spirit, to the temple you went

You choose to let go and peace the Lord immediately sent

 

How could Eli ever understand

A heart of pain that only God could comprehend

You made a vow to let the child go

God heard and blessing he did bestow

 

Did you feel a complete joy as you cradle your only son

Or was it mixed with fear knowing that the Lord's Will would be done

In three to four years' time when he is weaned

You shall not see him as often as you yearned

 

I respect you deeply from the bottom of my heart

You are a Woman of God, with many lessons to impart

Your act seems simple as you let your Samuel go

Your faith is big as your Samuel you let God hold 

 

Through the millenuims that separate you and us

Still the same simple faith is what we ask

To Let Go and let God take control

We need to pray and prayers must be bold

 

Letting go is letting God take contol and stop being blue

Maybe it is putting a child in a school no longer ours to rule

Perhaps we are called to let go of a sin that we are enslaved to

Perhaps letting go a loved one is what God is helping us do 

 

Let Go and Let God

It is never easy

Thank you Hannah

Your decision has changed lives

During your time and mine  

  

  

 

 

 

My Love is Like A Red, Red Rose - A Tribute to Juvena

My love is like a red, red rose,
All ready to blossom,
Just to be loved.

My love is like a red, red rose,
Seeking for a worthy owner,
One who will treasure me forever.

My love is like a red, red rose,
Ever yearning, ever looking forward,
To be home with my family.

My love is like a red, red rose,
Giving fragrance and light to all around me,
Brightening their lives, showing them the truth.

But my love is just like a red, red rose,
Not knowing when it will wither,
Not nowing if I will have time to do all that I want to accomplish.

My love is like a red, red rose,
Sweet and fragrant when fresh and fruitful,
Ragged and withered when God calls for me.

Is your love like a red, red rose just like mine?
Don't waste your life on earthly pleasures,
For you never know when God will call for you.

Thoughts after visiting a sister in coma....

Life is too short....

to worry about petty little things:-

-how people think of me..( cos i'm men pleaser)
-children whether in good school or not...
-whether got enought money for the future...
-whether how my MIL do the things at home...

Life is too short...

not to care and love :-
-people in the family...
-speaking the truth to my friends....
-reach out and invite even more rejection...

Life is too short...

prepare for eternity or not..
-am I and my love ones prepared to see God?...
-what is most important now?-money?, faces? status? pride? or the truth and faith?

Dont' know if is my PMS or emotional ...
but i need to pray more....

veron

What a FISH....

I am hungry, but i am not eating....i feel like dying....

 

This year i will be cooking for my family reunion dinner and i have no time to do grocery shopping.  So had to ask my MIL to help me buy a decent fish from local wet market.  Call home to check if she has managed to buy it and Amen she did.  But guess what the fish cost me more than $40 !!  i almost fell off from my chair.  Why is fish so expensive at this time!...i am not certainly not boasting like the top civil servant splurging S$45,000 on a cooking holiday....oh man i am so heart ache...i would not have buy it...dont think i will be taking my lunch for the next few days.......

 

Love, Just.

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FireProof

I know lot of you looking forward to watch the show "FireProof". My husband and i had watch this movie about four months ago. It very funny, touching, romantic movie. Both of us actually cry at the last part. That's one part i loves the most, and i cant stop laughing. The part when the fireman (cant remember his name) throw his computer away, when he fall into temptation of looking at the dirty website. What so funny?? Because his neighbour thought this man is crazy. You watch it, and you will know what i mean. My husband had the book too.

After watch this show, i share with my Bible Talk about how i feels. I told my leaders, if my ex-husband willing to seek for help just like the fireman. Our married will still be save after ten years of relationship. Did i feels sad? Of course, i know my ex-husband since i was age 14. I spent more of my ten years with him, and just gone just like that. Well.... (it a happy and joyful well), i so grateful that i end this relationship, or else i still fight, struggles a lot of it. Guess what? God blessed me much more better and great man in my life. He's the perfect man in my heart. So both sisters and brothers, please prepare tissues.

Love you
Diana

Melancholy (Just, don't tell me it's another big word...)

Got the news of Juvena's condition this morning as I was doing my QT. Not a very nice time to hear not very nice news like that. Or perhaps God is in His way telling me that He has everything under His control, I should be just living my life for Him without worrying too much about what happens around me? That I should stop moping around and start doing something much more useful like saving even more lost souls so that fewer will be banished to the fires of hell?

Melancholy is always my weakness and strength. Weakness obviously because I can't function properly whenever any bad news happen, whether it is related to me or not. Yet it can be a strength as I can empathise with people around me who are suffering. Most importantly, this feeling of melancholy allows me to 'feel' the way poets of long ago feel, giving me good grades in Literature as well as in writing. So all 4 years in NUS I just had fun and 'keng' through without really much need to study lah.

But melancholy has gotten the better part of me this time round as I age. I realise I sink deeper and deeper into melancholy and it takes much more effort to recover from the melancholic state. Honest I don't know Juvena or her family in person. And I don't know the 17yo boy killed in the Chinatown incident. Yet I can't seem to get out of the melancholy and move on. I cried my heart out when I heard of the boy's death, and until today I am still very upset. As for Juvena, what a sight I was. Adrian has throat infection and I went to the clinic with him, got the news, thought about it, and kept crying as I came out of the clinic. People around must be thinking either Adrian or myself must have contracted some terminal illness!!!

Too emotional is bad. Too melancholic is a thousand times worse. I'm lucky I've past 28yo, so I know I won't die a young age like John Keats. But who knows if I will live a unhapy live like William Shakespeare? I'd still prefer to be Lee Kuan Yew, worying about nothing but the welfare of the people. Or lagi better, be Mahathir, jiak ba boh tai zi zo, find trouble with everyone who doesn't agree with him. Somehow he reminds me that it could be a blessing to be self-centered. But after much thoughts, I still like to be myself lah, all the strengths and weaknesses aside, for this is the ME that God created. Amen!

Reflection from John's message on Fri and Sun

1 Tim 1 :18- .... so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to fatih and a good conscience....

1) Fight the good fight.

I need to fight the right fight, spiritual fight and not small petty worldly things ... like how ppt will think of me... will they listen if i tell them the truth,,, will they don't like me...

I just need to decide to fight for their souls and get them right with God. Not only for friends in world but also christian in the church.



2) Dont' get shipwreck

1 Tim1: 19... some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith.

I'm convicted! This give me a great alarm! A wake up bang too! My faith will get shipwreck if I'm not careful!

I need and must be humble and open about my sins and struggle. Not only open but must be humble to get help and discipling, so that nothing will shepwreck my faith.

I know alot ppt, because of lack of opening and humility to change, they got bitter and prideful and faithless in God. and they left the church and God.


DO I RUN AFTER DISCIPLING AND TAKING INPUT IN MY LIFE?


3) Practise and purge as we seek God

2 chron 34:1-8

Josiah practised as he went along in life.
I got to keep seeking God till the day I die.
But at same time I need to purge along the way.
There is power when we pracitse, DO IT!
We can be intelligent but spiritually dull.

I think I'm spiritual dull, cos i dont' have great faith like Josiah doing what is right despite anything!

I'm so convicted about this point too..
I need to purge my negative thoughts, lack of faith, selfishness, loving the lost and christians and leave my comfort zone.!

There're other points which are also good for me, but i guess i need to stop here for today...

Luv,
veron

Thank You - IOU (Part II)

Dearest Sisters,

As promised, will update you with what has happened.

In th 1 days of school, I caught my son lying about losing his pocket money 3 times. And he was so real about it that he cried so bitterly, no one would have suspected anything if he hadn't tried it 3 times in a row.

On Friday morning, I was still on the phone with the form teacher who thinks I'm overreacting about my boy. But by school dismissal time, she said she had something serious to talk to me and will call me. What happened was my boy actually stole something from his classmate, a ball of fish feed that costs only 20 cents. It wasn't that he didn't have any money, he had more than a dollar in his wallet at the time when he was caught. It was over this stealing and lying that Adrian and I seeked Teck Ming's help, for we find that while he is only 7 years old, his behaviour is far more mature than that.

At Teck's advice, we gave him a great Saturday, sending Natalie away to Lay Choo's house for the day so that he could have both of our attention. After his favourite Korean BBQ dinner, I confronted him. Gently lah, of course. Initially he would only tell me things that I already knew, and I had to send him into the shower telling him that I know something happened just before school dismissal on Friday and I'd rather hear it from him that from the teacher. After colin down with a shower, he finally came out with the 'truth'. I asked him why has he been telling white lies these days, and his reply gave me a shock: "The devil tells me to lie." Upon further prompting, he claimed that there's a voice in him telling him to be naughty and to lie, and if he doesn't do so, the voice would be angry. After consulting Teck and his wife, we decided that either:

1. I have a son with extremely fertile imagination and ability to tell lies;
2. I have a lonely son who needs the company of an invisible voice to keep him company all the time; or
3. I have a schizoprenic child in hand.

When Adrian probed him today, Nathanial refused to confess about lying and stealing, saying that it is a secret between he and I. So much for the father-son relationship.

I will be taking Teck's advice and send Nathanial for child psychologist assessment, please pray for me that Nathanial is not psychotic. It would then be much easier to solve the problem.

Most importantly of all, Sisters, please keep this from your kids, as I promised Nathanial no one will know about this. But there is no way I can keep this from all of you, the burden is far too heavy for me to carry alone. Just treat him as usual, don't let any of the kids know about these episodes, and I would be so grateful to you.

I know you will be praying for me (ha! safe assumption!!!), thanks and I really appreciate it.

Love, Carol

Thank You - IOU

Dearest Sisters,

Just woke up, not used to the idea of not being in church on a Sunday morning. But I'm really worn out by what happened over the weekend.

Understand from Veron that many of you expressed appreciation for my blogging. Thanks for the encouragement, having lived in the world for so long, it's far easier to write than to speak my heart. Besides that's my training! If my blogs could be an inspiration, despite being ambiguous sometimes, I'm glad I could be of service to you.

I know I owe many of you an explanation of what really happened on Friday, I wasn't myself and right after the service broke up, instead of fellowshipping, Adrian and I spent ages engaging in a serious talk with Teck Ming. To keep it short, we have a major problem with Nathanial 11 days after school started, and we need professional help. But before we do anything, we want to seek that advice of John, but with Karen's condition, we thought Teck Ming was the next best person to turn to. We are still looking into the problem and I don't have much time to elaborate further, otherwise I won't have time to meet you for lunch!!! So I promise you I'll update you with more details at a later date, take this as an IOU!

Love,
Carol

God's Testing Me

I am so afraid, so burden since last night after my MIL's phone to say that she coming home tonite.

 

God certainly cant wait to test me..."loving the people God puts in your path by first loving those at home" keep ringing in my ear.  "To recognize that there is someone i do not love is to say to God, "i  do not love You enough to love that person." i keep telling myself this...but i still feel very burden,....i dont want to fail the test, sisters!!

 

Love, Just.

Fruit of the Spririt

LOVE

I dont know about you but i especially need love when i am feeling tired and burdened down.  At times like these, i usually dont feel up to loving other people and I only want to love those who are nice to me.  And you see, i am always feeling tired .......how??

 

I was at Mount Zion yesterday during lunch, thinking of looking for a bible for my litte boy.  While i was there, i stumble upon a book titled growing in the fruit of a spirit...i thought... should i get it or maybe not since i have quite a few books on my mind that i wish to complete reading them this year.  This book is not cheap but I end up getting the book instead of bible.

 

In chapter 1 of this book it says......To recognize that there is someone i do not love is to say to God, "i  do not love You enough to love that person."....we are to serve simply because God lives in us and wants to extend His love to all people through us (Romans 5:5)..Love is the sacrifice of self, it involves effort, not merely emotion.  It demands action, not just feeling,  it is something we do, not something we only feel or say....Being loving the people God puts in your path by first loving those at home.  As the saying goes, "What you are at home is what you are!"  So be a woman who walks in God's love at home.

 

I am not letting the month of January past without putting what i have read into practice.  Amen.

 

Love, Just.

BEYOND HELP

Dear sisters,

 

Like to share with you a story that i have read in my QT and felt very encourage by it...

A 110-year-old Israeli Bedouin shepherd was admitted to a Beersheba hospital while experiencing a heart attack. In spite of his age, doctors worked hard to save him. The man was thought to be the oldest heart patient ever to be treated successfully with anticlotting drugs. A hospital spokesperson reported that the Bedouin returned to his tent in the Negev Desert to tend his goats.

The care given to this 110-year-old man faintly echoes the way Jesus responded to those people we consider beyond help. His ability and willingness to go beyond social barriers to help lepers and social outcasts went far beyond the normal expectations of what a good person would do.

Even in the agony of His own suffering, Jesus reached out to a dying man everyone else regarded as beyond help. The man was a criminal, condemned to die, and only hours from entering a lost eternity. In that moment, Jesus responded to the man’s cry for help and said, “Today you will be with Me in Paradise” (Luke 23:43).

Do you know someone who seems beyond help today? or perhap so weak, so hopeless?

I pray that God's loving kindness has strengthen your faith the way it has strengthen mine today.

Love, Just.

 

 

 

A Brand New Week Ahead

It's been nothing but downhill slide since the beginning of the year. So much for my resolutions, Mr Lucifer sure didn't let me have a chance to carry them out in year 2009. Thank God I did not sit on it, I already started action in late 2008 as soon as my resolutions were made. So at least I did have a headstart.

With a brand new week ahead and having gotten accustomed to my new schedule, I expect my life to go back in shape more or less. God, You prevail, You are the Almighty One, You are the alpha and Omega, and I know You'll be there to see me through. Lord, help me take one step at a time, such that I don't overtax nor fall into the trap of complacency. Help me to get through this week first, for I know that You won't let Mr L tempt me beyond what I could take. I'm sure gradually I'll be able to get back on my feet and serve You wholeheartedly again. But make it quick ok? Can't wait to get into some action!

In Your son's most precious name I pray, Amen.

Fireproof (invitation card)

Let's be faithful and prayerful, for we can certainly do it.( Caleb said to the people in Numbers 13:30-31) That everyone of us will able to have someone coming for this great event!





Let reach out and invite our friends!

Luv,

Veron

Updates from ZQ n Grace

This is from Grace... I forward for u to see...

Dear all,
Here are some updates from staff meeting this week.

1) Scouts classes on fridays for P3 and P4's will be starting next friday, 16th.

2) I will be forwarding you e-invites for fireproof.

3) Babysitting during fireproof workshop.

Encourage as many as possible to make their own arrangements at home. Christians can also make personal arrangements with Christians that they know from the singles ministry. For those who have no option, paid babysitting are available but please let me know who they are so that i can let the organizers know.

4) Food for fireproof.

David and Wai Yee's parents will be preparing for friday. Marrieds will prepare coffee and tea. Our ministry will do the Saturday slot, high tea style. I am proposing for each zone to prepare 2 items, except for Josephine and Vivien's who have smaller zones. They will do one item. With that, we will have in total 10 items.

Please let me know what item/items you'd like to prepare from your zone. So far, Joyce Tan volunteered for her zone to prepare sandwiches and 1 more item. It is such a priviledge for us to have the workshop for free and let's use tthat Saturday opportunity to serve and be all the way hospitable as we prepare the saturday high tea. i am faithful that the Christians will be generous as they've been in last year's parenting talk. In short:Agnes, Joyce, Yoke Ling and Veron's zone- 2 food items each zone.Vivien and Josephine's zone- 1 food item each zone.

"SO I ANY SUGGESTION FOR THE FOOD FROM OUR ZONE? " VERON ASKED

5) a reminder that monday is Leaders funtime at church, 7.30pm.
Come in the proper attire...

" Ling, Pauline and SK please take note , no heels and skirt"


6) last but not least, please pray for ZQ's last paper tomorrow morning. It's a 3 hour written exam, and the last exam for his whole course!!!!!! Amen!

Luv,
Grace

A glimpse into God's heart

A glimpse into God's heart through a father's heart

Take heart sisters and give praise to God

On behalf of Soon Ting.

Christ, please give me the strength I need as You promise to

For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. But even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty. ~Phil 4:13-14

Dearest Heavenly Father,

This is the moment when I am most susceptible to Satan's lure and bait, for it has been a roller coaster week ending with a young innocent life taken. Though I may not know the deceased, I do know that Nathanial's Taekwondo instructor used to hang out in the same group and would in fact have been in trouble that same night if he hadn't been vigorously training for the upcoming tournaments in Melaka and Korea. Being such a nice humble young man, I'm sure his friend couldn't be that extreme.

God, who do young innocent lives have to pay for something they have not done while the culprits get off scot-free? Do we have to wait till Judgement Day to see justice done? What if the murderer repents and becomes a disciple? Wouldn't have the innocent guy died in vain?

Father, we're all Your children, I know You love us all. But sometimes I really don't understand how things work with You. In my earthly and simplistic mind, right is right and wrong is wrong. There is hardly any grey lines in between. Why do punks who intentionally seek trouble seriously injure innocents and get off scot-free while the innocents are left to pick up the bits and pieces, sometimes even losing their lives in the process? The hurt the family feels, the agony, the injustice, the unfairness... all these because we are descendants of Adam and Eve? What if the poor boy has never given Discipleship a second thought, a common phenomenon at his age? Is he then going to hell for something that happened out of his control? while the culprit has time to repent and get baptised and seek Your pardon? Why did it have to happen at the Chinatown light-up and not during Christmas, when I was spending the night at Natalie's mum's wake? It was so near, I would have heard the commotion and alerted the police, and the poor guy wouldn't have died such a tragic death!

Father, I'm really struggling to do things in Christ's strength at the moment. Well, with Your strength either. My emotions are all in a roller coaster, and I have a problem catching hold of it. Yet I know medication is not the solution. Lord, I want to talk to Karen Louis tonight after the midweek service, please help me to get the story straight and gain some useful insight into how to grapple with this problem from her.

In Jesus' most precious name I pray. Amen.

Modifications to labels

Dear sisters,

I made some slight change to our blog.

Firstly, I have come up with the following guidelines on label usage.

Guideline for labels:
- Give a more General name for label so that more pp can tag their future entries to the same label
- If we want to add a new label, try to see if it can be tagged to an existing label first (eg:I tag this post to "announcement")
- To name a label, give one name that we think fellow bloggers will refer to more than once (eg if you post about Valentine, you should label it under "sharing" and not "Valentine") because we do not forsee many future entries on valentine.
- Keep label list as short as possible (Else it defeats labelling which is meant for easy search. Also it will push our shout box further down)

As the blog administrator may I seek your understanding if I take the audacity to change your labels. No offence taken pls. If there is any, pl forgive me. (Carol, fyi, I changed 2 labels from "Spiritual Battles" and "Have some fun" to "Spiritual Sharing"). Hee hee, trained in this area, somehow, cannot stop thinking of user interface issue.

Also I have moved the entire label widget to below the shout box. Otherwise, I think labels may grow further and will one day push the "Blessings" Shoutbox out of sight such that we would need to scroll down to use it. That will probably cause some of us to overlook the blessings box, which was intended to communicate our praises to God.

Last but not least, if I label something not very appropriate and you have a better label name, feel free to drop a comment.

Thank YOU!
Love,sk

The Line Between Life and Death

I marvel at the thin line between life and death. One moment you're breathing and your brain is functioning and your heart is pumping, the next second you're proclaimed dead. Dead, just as life is starting for all other friends of yours, dead, because some punks decided that you stared at them and decided to give chase and beat you to death. And on an auspicious day when everyone is out celebrating light-up for the Chinese New Year at Chinatown. God, why did You take him away in such a violent manner? He may be with You now, but still that was a violent and unworthy death. Well, not when compared to Jesus I suppose.

I do not know the deceased personally, but being a close buddy of Nathanial's Taekwondo instructor who is a very well-behaved boy, I don't see how bad he could have been. And the truth is, if the instructor had not have a class that evening to teach, he would probably be with them. He might be one of those injured, or he might be the one dead. Or what if 10 years later it's my son in that situation? Am I supposed to surrender to God and be happy that my son is finally in the kingdom, and I will one day met him in the kingdom, indefinitely? How is it possible not to be bitter about the whole event especially if you are someonepersonally involved in the incident?

I guess this is where out true surrender and submission to God is ultimately tested. Remembering the dragon boat competitor who died at Myanmar? His Christian father just fully submitted to God and surrendered his one and only son to God's care in the kingdom. No easy feat. I just pray that this will not happen to me, and if it unfortunately does, I will be spiritually strong enough to take it in my step.

Jesus, You're my strength. Carry me through all trials and tribulations please. Amen.

Shepharding Your Flock

It's a nightmare being a shephard. Yes, you start the day by screaming at them to get out of bed or they'll be late for school/work, then you prepare lunchboxes for them, then you return to the rooms to give them the ultimatum before any of them would be frightened into action. Then comes the tantrums of not knowing how to button his shirt, not knowing how to zip up her dress from behind, not knowing what to eat for breakfast, not knowing how to put on their socks and shoes, not knowing left from right, well, not knowing anything on earth practically. That's why we the moms are the shephards. When they are finally coaxed out of the house and into the school, we finally can heave a sigh of relieve.

I can't imagine what Jesus had to go through being our shephard. I already find my role impossible. If I were given Jesus' role, I swear I would have called the angels to take me home even as I was fasting in the desert!!!

Jesus, I salute You for all you have endured and done for us. What a great shephard You are, and You will always be my role model. Amen!

Is God Truly With Me?

Just read a verse I find so scary...
See below:

Samuel 23:7 (New International Version)
7 Saul was told that David had gone to Keilah, and he said, "God has handed him over to me, for David has imprisoned himself by entering a town with gates and bars."

Over here we see Saul running after David to kill him. But notice even at this point in time, he thought he was doing the right thing. He thought God was with him. Goodness, how many times have we sinned deliberately or knowingly and still think God is with us.

Think many times we need to be more sober.

love
Soon Keow

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

Many have asked the question how did Adrian ever coped with my Bipolar Disorder without spiritual help and support from brothers from church. Well, I never knew. All I know was that he was determined to stick through our marriage vows, be it in sickness or in health, riches or poverty. And he did a brilliant job out of it. Thinking back, I have to applaud him and thank him for loving me over the kids. And I can't help but thank Cheng Yong for the part he played, listening to Adrian pour out his woes and sorrows till 2am while I was lying in the hospital bed, semi-insane.

I've always asked Adrian if he ever felt that he got the worse end of the deal. Somehow he never looked at our relationship in this way. He feels that as a husband and a father, his job is to protect the family from all harm, regardless of the dangers ahead. Sounds like we're wild animals living in the jungle, don't we? :) Anyway, that brings to mind a retro called 'Loving You Is a Dirty Job, But Somebody's Gotta Do it'. And that 'somebody' is destined to be Adrian for as long as God is not ready to take me, I suppose.

Now that I'm enslaved to all these stupid medications for life, I sometimes really lose the courage to live on. It might be difficult to understand, but imagine having to take over 10 pills every night for the rest of your life. Often I'd ask God why me? But I guess I'll never get an answer before I see Him on Judgement Day. It is such a temptation to skip a couple of doses here and there because nobody likes to be enslaved to anyone or anything, but that is where Mr Lucifer strikes silently. Miss the dose and you go haywire. And you'll be doing insane things like flinging chairs around the house, breaking everything within sight, perhaps even taking a chopper and running after your family's lives. It's just beyond control. Only the medication would make a Bipolar Disorder patient sane, and this sanity may not last forever as one gets immune to the medication and requires a stronger dose now and then.

There is this Chinese song that ends with 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow'. This is a question I frequently ask Adrian, especially when my Bipolar acts up and I feel insecure of everyone's love for me. No doubt God's love is supreme and perfect and everlasting, I have lived with no other love for over a decade before I became a disciple. So Adrian's love for me is still extremely important, for even in the kingdom I see many couples breaking up and straying from God. It's such a scary thought that one day I might have to live a life of a Eunice or a single Mom, or even fight a custody over the twins. I won't be able to cope with it.

Honey, will you still love me tomorrow?

God's Blessings

I remember a few years ago when the kids were only 3+ and Mee Toh was just about to start in Punggol. I went onto the websites, asked around from my teacher friends, prayed, seeked advice from sisters and brothers and parents, just to decide which is a better school to send them to. Yes, I know Mee Toh is a Buddhist school and conflicts with our beliefs, but they offer Higher Chinese from P1, which I emphasise a lot for my kids. One day, while I was reading a Psalm, somehow an image of the word 'Edgefield' just floated above the pages and I decided that it must be God's instructions for me. Pagens laugh at me, calling me stupid to forego such a good school for a neighbourhood school, my own parents were absolutely sarcastic at my decision. Fortunately I had Adrian by my side, fighting off all the nagging comments from the pagens, for much as I knew it was God's will, I could not help but wonder if I was just going crazy.

Then came the isue of whether to separate the twins into different classes or not. If I keep them in the same class, they can take care of each other. Yet if I don't split them, Natalie will forever be comparing her academic results with Nathanial and unfortunately for her, Nathanial is just that bit better than her in most areas. But if I split them, I would be having endless nightmares of comparing the teachers, something I'd hate people to do to my kids yet I can't help doing it myself.

Thanks to God's guidance, I put them in Edgefield and requested that they be separated into different classes. In the first couple of days you don't really see much difference except my frustrations over how the teachers do work differently and their different efficiency levels. But today there's finally a breakthrough. Natalie has been made a leader with her own assistant to hand out leaflets to the class, while Nathanial has been made the English leader. If they had been in the same class, Nathanial wouldn't have been noticed for who he really is. He would always be hiding behind the shadows of his twin sister.

Lord, I thank You for Your constant guidance in what to do. All I need to do is to truly surrender to You, something which I still struggle with time and again. Lord, with all these experiences, help to remind me to remember all the blessings You've given me when I fully surrender to Your will. A true disciple should not be burdened with any earthly troubles at all.

Amen!

God's Goodness to Us

Psalm 142:7 (New International Version)

"Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me."

David prob wrote this in a cave (1 Sam22). At this time he was running away from Saul who wanted to kill him. The sweet thing here is that, for the first time, we see his family showing support to him. Just as in the story of Joseph back in Genesis, and Jesus in his day, David's brothers grew to appreciate him and were ready to sign up with him. Also,in this cave that, not only his father's household gathers, but also 400 other good men. 1 Chronicles 12:8-18 describes the men from the tribes of Gad, Benjamin and Judah who began to follow him about this time, and stresses their bravery and boldness. These would become known as David's Mighty Men, who really turned Israel upside down and back to God.

How true isn't it?

If we have frens around us who are righteous, it is God's goodness to us.

Love,sk

Battling Satan

Those of you who have read my 2009 resolutions may recall what I resolved to do, including evangelism and bringing the lost back to God. Well, much easier said than done.

Since the turn of the new year, I have been having insomnia, which is very bad for my Bipolar Disorder. I get cranky, moody, agitated, and worst of all, near the point of insanity. I knew I was at the peak of my manic episode, and as usual I played with my cocktail of medicines to get the right dose to balance it off. But it never seemed to work.

I recall on the 3rd day of the new year I prayed to God to send me a guardian angel to constantly remind me to be humble where the children's teachers are concerned. Nathanial has been streamed to one of the better classes while Natalie's class is a mixture of students. Even on day 1 of school on 2nd January I was busy comparing and commenting on the differences between the 2 form teachers, their efficiency levels based on what they have done in the day. God indeed sent me a guardian angel in the form of Lay Choo, though for a purpose much more important than what I prayed for.

For several nights I have been sleeping in the study on the sofa bed. It gives me a sense of security somehow, with the arm rests just next to me whichever side I turn. All thanks to my guardian angel, I realise I'm running away from Satan. And that really created a completely different perspective to whatever has been bugging me. Yeah, so it was Satan. With me out of action, he wouldn't be worried about more lost souls being brought to God, perhaps I would even become his slave. And with me not in control of myself, how would it be possible for me to help my disciple Natalie Chan?

I thank God for sending me my guardian angel at a crucial time like this. Now I know altering the dosage of medication alone will not help me, for it is not only a medical condition that is bugging me but a spiritual issue as well. Satan, sorry to say I've seen through your plot once again with God's blessings and the sisters' help, you've gotta try harder than that to get me! Be ready that I will put up a fierce battle against you, for I am God's army!

The Power of Negative Thinking

As humans, we are so prone to assume the worst and believe the worst.

We focus on what is wrong or on what we are afraid will go wrong.

Negative thinking is a pervasive tendency.

It must be seen as what it is- an unloving, unfaithful response to God's promises.


I'm convicted. If I think the worst of everything, then I'm not loving God and I'm humble toward God!

Jesus was completely realistic about man's sinful condition, but he was full of faith and confident that men could be changed be God's power.

If in our conversation always end with the negative "but", it will lodge in our hearts and the hearts of others( especially our children!)

Being realistic with the facts is good, but ending with fatih is better-- it's ESSENTIAL.

Abraham faced the facts of his situation, but then he "faithed" them.
The facts are the facts , but God is greater than any reality that blocks what he wants done in our lives.

FAITH LOOKS BEYOUND HUMANISTIC REALITITES TO DIVINE POSSIBILITIES.

We must be Christ followers who must have a will to be persuaded, to be open to changeing our minds of negativity ( Hebrews 13:17, discipling)

Unless we really determine to open our hearts to new truths, we simply cannot and will not see it.

Unless we change our will to believe, we will remain locked in our negativity and may ultimately LOSE OUR SALVATION!

Negativism is tragic in its results. ( Number 13 &14 the whole community didn't make it)
This passsage is a chilling reminder of the tragedy that follows unfaithful thinking and acting.

We must see the power of negativity and avoid it like the plague it is.

When you begin to lack faith about anything, rest assured that SATAN IS NEAR!

Entertaining negative thoughts with no plan to change the situation is dangerous to our spiritual health.

The power of spiritual thinking lies in part with our consisitent REFUSAL to think negatively.

Let's learn these lessons well and avoid being used by Satan.

Let us confront the most difficult and challenging circumstances and say, " God is still at work and he still has a plan."

The power of negative thinking or the power of spiritual thinking- ?
THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!

So what is your choice?

Luv,
Veron

Simkovsky Resolution

Here are our Resolution for Simkovsky Family.

Matthew:
1) Focus and improve on daily Quite-Time.
Crazy work schedule, cant have good Quite-Time.

Diana:
1) Brush teeth twice a day together using with mouth wash.
Sometime so tired and lazy, go bed without brush my teeth. Have to take care of it, since i use it the most. Ha ha ha...

2) Remember one song a month, and sing that song before or after prayer.

3) Pray and do Quite-Time daily no matter is day or night.
With young baby, it hard to do in morning. When night comes, just want to be spare-out.

4) Teach Keenan God's song and short prayer.
I feels it important to teach my baby simple prayer and Kingdom songs.

5) Do exercise 3 to 5 times a week by using Wii Fit.
I been exercise once a week, but now it winter, lazy to do exercise. Since i had Wii Fit, can do anytime at home. Wii Fit is very good, record everything.

6) Still focus on weekly dated with boys.
I been doing it few months ago. It very good, my boys share about their dream, what happen in school, sex, angry and so on... It also teach them how to sever a woman, example: open door for me, carry my things, order food behalf for me, prayer and some interesting together.

7) Still focus eating in dinner table.
Eat together in dinner table is good thing. That's the only time make them talk and talk.

8) No yell and scream at my boys when I angry.
I get stress out easy, so i use to yell and scream at them. Plus we stay in three story house. I always shout at them to come down. Sigh.....

Mark:
1) Focus on daily Quite-Time with God.
Lot of schoolwork, forget about God.

2) Help wash dishes on every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

3) Be nice to brothers.
Try to be head and order brother to do this and that.

4) Change my temper.
Get angry easy when things don't get his way.

Louis:
1) Focus on daily Quite-Time with God.
Feels boring when doing quite-time.

2) Improve in serving.
Always sigh..... when serving.

3) Help wash dishes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

4) Wake up extra early on time.
Always wake up last minute to go school.

5) Improve hand-writing.
Teacher complain a lot of messy handwriting, that cant read.

6) Watch games time.
Forget his time when play games.

Keenan:
1) Everything still learning. Ha ha ha....

Thanks to God

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for prayers that thou has answered
Thanks for what thou dost deny
Thanks for storms that I have weathered
Thanks for all that thou supply

Thanks for pain and thanks for pleasure
Thanks for comfort in despair
Thanks for grace that none can measure
Thanks for love beyond compare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is part of an old gospel song that my son Ee Yeung was taught in his Nursery school. Simple lyrics, but it touched the core of my heart. We taught the P3 Kids Kingdom kids to sing it, so Jenna and Vivien should know :)

A lot of times God answers our prayers. Sometimes He denies us our desires (for reasons we might not understand while still on earth). The most precious thing is the grace and comfort He supplied through difficult times to help us through them. God never leaves us alone to face adversities. He stands by our side and goes through it with us.
Thanks to God, Amen!


Soon Ting

PS: First time posting here. Awesome job with this blog sisters! I am inspired by my sister's efforts to set it up too :)

Resolutions

When I finally decided to note down my resolutions, but Satan stopped me,,,i can't open the internet.

Finally I'm online and I have only 10 min .

1st confession.
Writing resolutions is my struggles.

- I don't know where to start
- Ah mo not so good n not a good writer , afraid to look ugly
- if write down the resolutions, didn't able to do it. discouraged and ma lo..

But thanks to God, sisters prayed for me( I think) with Jason 's helped, we came out a very simple resolutions.

Define- Resolutions: resolving; great determination; formal statement of a committee's opinion.

As a couple:

1) exercise twice a week( it is big struggle for me)
2)once a month: hospitabiltiy
3) Date with our gals individually.


As personal:

1) Iron my husband's clothes(pai sei ;))
2) Pray at least 1/2 hours( no interruption)
3) QT reading at least 1 hour( no break or interruption in between)
4) mediate and memorise a verse a day( keep the satan away)

Love,
Veron Kuwe
Posted by The Kuwe Family

Encourage by God

Today i really very happy. I received an e-mail from my good friend of my. I been reach out to her when i go through divorced. She's still single and i always there for her when she cry, quarrel and break out with her boyfriend. She knows my story and know my new family. I had invited her to church for few times, and she always seat last few row of the hall during the service. She's a bit shy person and always feels bad about herself. After i give birth to my baby, i received her good news of married. Now I'm in US, i still send e-mail to her and updated my life. I got really encourage from God, she and her husband decide to go church again. Now she asking me for number from church members that she and her husband avail to hand out with. I really very happy and suprise. The question is, i don't know where they stay. The last time i know was in Newton. Any want willing to help me finish my job? Hopefully this time they avail to be open and study the Bible. That's will be the great gift when i coming back end of 2009.


Love
Diana

Work Stress

Dear Sis,
Recently, there was a v important event in my company. I was assigned to do some work w a very tight deadline for manager A. On that day (deadline), my own boss gave me a task which I couldn't finish it by just 1 afternoon. I explain to him I was q tied up and he just refused to listen and became angry. Under great stress and nowhere to turn to (I was moody that day cos some family problem), I broke down and cried in the toilet. I took a MC in afternoon cos I couldn't continue to work. In my heart, I cried out to GOD...Why I have this kind of boss? How can he treat me like that? I rested at home. Then in the evening I received his message and told me have good rest and ask me to finish the work from manager A. I finished the work for him even though I on MC.

Today I received email from manager A. He sent a email to the director and my manager to praise me for the effort I put. GOD brought justice for me. In Psalm 103 "The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed."

I praised GOD for his protection and prayed that he will teach me how to work wisely, to learn how to protect ourselves but yet be submissive to our authority.

Wendy chan

My Great Helper

I realize most of you was talking about their children, expect me. Ha ha ha.... Well.... Since today i have more time and can be on computer a bit longer, i will like to share with you about my life and my boys too. I think it very important to me. Because it let me think how God actully blessed, take care of me and goes through those good and bad time together. Most of you know i had 3 boys. Two older are from my 1st married in the world. The last baby that i had now, is from married in the kingdom. Let's talk about my two older sons, and put my baby aside. Ha ha ha...

My two older boys are Mark who's now age 14 and Louis who's age 12.5. Most of you seen them grow up when they will only age 2 and 3 years old. Yeah, now already big and young man to be. Ha ha ha... What special about them are, they are my great helper. They both learn lot of life skills in just 4 years. You will wonder what kind of life skill they have. Let me share with you one by one. Let's talk about my first born first.

When Mark was age 8, he start to be home alone after back from school from morning classes. To him is normal until my mom come over and fetch him to her place until i back from work. Mark was always very mature in lot of ways. He's the one who go through everything in my life. How my ex-husband treat me, how my married break down, how i go through divorced, how i lose my job, how i face finance problems, how much i cry and so on.... He only very young age but he know lot of things and what going on. All those things happen does not affect his schoolwork. In opposite, he do well in school. He don't get good mark but i very happy when he get 65 to 70. That's all i ask for. He never complain what other kids have and he don't have. As young age, he know how to take care of his brother (Louis). He will protect him when they will alone in playgroup/at home or other places that without me. He will bath Louis and change his clothing. I can trust him whatever he do and i know he never let me down.

What about Louis? Well.... He's the person who don't know anything what happen around him. He always get protect from me and Mark. He don't do well in school and also get between 30 to 40 mark during the test. I see his teachers more than i see Mark's teachers. I hate those teachers who know how to complain a lot and don't understand what single mom's life is about.

Of course after i go dating in kingdom and within two years, i get married to a military man. Lot of things had been change. My two boys go to International School and are doing very well in school. I get lot of support from teachers and they willing to teach my boys from all over again to catch up. My boys are very happy and they loves that school more than Singapore local school. As my husband, he's self discipline and know lot of life skills. He been Navy for 16 years, all he was alone and do everything by himself without parent. He don't need me to wake him up, and he don't need me to wash or iron his uniforms. He's the one who teach my boys to be more independence, instead of mommy..... mommy.... all the times. Example: wash his own clothing and fold his clothing too. Sweep and mop the house, wash dishes. Since everyone have to stay in the same house, so everyone have to do the part of it. If my boys don't wash his dirty clothing and have no clothing to wear, they don't blame me, but themselves. Because they know what's is important.

After i give birth to my baby, and very shorty we move to US to stay. Within this two years, i face as single mom again because my husband hardly are home. He's 75% of his time in a year is at work, and leave me alone to handler everything in the house. I really needs help with baby and i have no one to turn to. I don't know any disciples here expect my leader. I don't stay with in law that three hours driving away from us. I really get stress out in stranger country, and don't know what to do or handler. Expect doing housework during weekend. I teach my two older son to handler baby and take care of him. They learn to bath a baby, change his dirty diapers (no matter is poo or pee), make milk, feed him, clean him, bring him out for a walk, play with him and so on.... I sign them out for Amercian Red Cross to get baby sitter cert. They learn the right way of handler baby, when to call for help and important are CPR. In US, kids below age 12 are not allow to be home alone. If someone complain, parent will be in trouble. Parent have to go for classes and also get record. So families who's like us, don't stay with parent and in law, will get baby sitter for help. They pay between US$6 to US$10 per hour and also depend how many kids in the house too. After my boys get the cert, they earn lot of money during summary school holiday. A lot of people in our area needs baby sitter with a cert and CPR. From there my boys know how hard money to earn. On top of that, they also learn to cook. So during every school holiday (no matter is a week or three months), Mark and Louis have to cook once a week for the family. What they want to eat, they will cook. I just prepare ingredients on the table with cookbook. They will do from start to the end.

That's the life skills they have. They complain to the Bible Talk, they perfect to go back to school instead of school holiday. Because they have to do housework, cooking, baby sitter at home. I told them, there's no free meal in the world. Everything have to work for it. In future, they move out of the house to go collage or married, they know how to take care of themselves, just like what my husband doing now. So, here's my two great helper.


Miss you
Diana

Letting go

Suffered from insomnia all night despite all the cough, flu, Bipolar and extra dose of tranquilizers. Tried a double brandy on the rockbut it didn't help at all. I guess I'm getting all queasy about the kids starting school in another 2 hours' time, that they will be thrown into independence, that they will inevitably be dragged into the rat race. The mere thought of these are enough to give me a panic attack. How to sleep???

Does anyone has the same expeience as I have? Or is it because my kids are born under some special circumstances that's why I'm behaving this way? What about because I am not truly surrendering to God and casting all my worries upon Him? The mere idea that worry is a sin in itself is enough to throw me into another round of panic attack!!!

The one good thing that came out of this is I got to call my beloved baby sis in the States and had a long chat with her. Miss her so much. We can now meet only once a year at most, and together with Adrian, she has been my pillar of strength when I was yet to be a disciple. It's so difficult to let her go, yet she found such a good husband that I can't imagine anyone else would share the same eccentricities as her. They are indeed a pair made in heaven. I just have to let go.

Letting go is such a tough job. In the first place, the decision is difficult to make. Then comes the actual action of letting go, which literally tears my heart apart. And the after effect of letting go, that your life seems to be suddenly empty with some important part missing, to the effect that sometimes I don't feel my heart is in my chest after all.

Sisters, please pray for me that I learn t letgo gracefully and truly surrener to God, casting ll my worries upon Him and stop lashing Jesus again with my sins. Amen

How Can You Refuse Him Now?

There's a story old, that has often been told,

Of how our savior died, as they nailed his hands,

He cried they don't understand,

As the blood flowed from his side.


(Chorus:)

How can you refuse him now, how can you refuse him now,

How can you turn away from his side,

With tears in his eyes, on the cross there he died,

How can you refuse Jesus now.

As he hung there on the tree, he prayed for you and me,
There was no one his pain to ease,
Before he died, he faintly cried,
Father forgive them please.

(Chorus)

When Love Gets Overwhelming

As many of you in the group already know, my twins were conceived through IVF donor embryos. In other words they might have grown in my womb for 9 months, but I have no slightest idea who their biological parents are, except they are fellow patients of IVF treatment. Being such precious babies, it is a great challenge for Adrian and I not to spoil them and give in to all their whims and fancies. Yet it is exactly due to the uniqueness of their coming to being that we have to make sure they don't turn guinea pigs and be experiments for our parenting style, for we'll never get a second chance again. We still pamper them in our own ways, Adrian spoil them by relaxing on their choice of food, while I spoil them by spending much money on books they ask for. As they grow, our love for them becomes overwhelming when we don't change our style of loving them, and they find it difficult to cope with love for a 4-year-old kid when they are turning 7 in two months' time. It's time to reflect on how we show them our love and not overwhelm them with it.

Adrian dreads coming home for dinner. Mind you, I'm actually quite a good cook if I say so myself. I can easily whip up a quick and presentable meal to welcome brothers and sisters in Christ and have a great time fellowshipping. Yet Adrian dreads the idea of coming home for dinner. Simply because my cooking is a manifestation of my love for the family. And he is overwhelmed by this love. His working hours are irregular, sometimes he can get home only after 8 or 9pm, and by then he would have no more appetite for dinner. If I have kept food for him, he would have to force them down his throat just to keep me happy. But that makes him suffer. I have come to learn to cook only for the kids and myself and leave only soup for him so that the pressure is less on him.

I have only 1 sister, and she is 11 years younger than me. She went to the States to do her Masters in 2006 and settled down in the States, tying the knot this year. She has always been my baby, I have always looked out for her, prepared her breakfast daily even when my mum had a helper, altered all her uniforms for her since she was in P1 until Sec 3 when I got married. For a long while she was at a loss without me at home as she was so used to having me pamper her. She asked me why couldn't I get married later when she's grown up, or why couldn't I continue to stay at my parents' after wedding. When she was in P4 and due for her steaming exams, I would chase after her everyday with a cane because she won't do her Chinese assessments or read Chinese storybooks. Naturally I wanted the best for her, and the best is EM1. With her Chinese results, she needed a lot of whipping to get to Band 1. Thank God she scraped through an 85 and got into EM1. She really hated me those days including my mum, and I was nicknamed the stepmother. they couldn't understand why the emphasis on Chinese and it was my way of loving my sister. Now that all has gone past, my sis finally sees my point of view then, and in fact want to send her children to Singapore to study under our bilingual system when she has kids in future.

Some of you who know my disciple Natalie Chan would know her dramatic childhood and family background. When it was decided that I should be her discipler, I gave my heart and soul to the extent of giving advices on her parenting style, her marriage, how she should manage her time. While she truly needs help in all these areas, I didn't realise I'd overstepped her boundaries and made her uncomfortable with me. Perhaps it's the difference between our education background, perhaps it's because I'm always putting up a serious front, she just feels she can't truly open up to me for fear of hurting me even though she considers me the dearest person to her. I have unconsciously overwhelmed her with too much love, so much that even her husband of almost 9 years couldn't give half of it. I'm so proud of her that she finally managed to face the problem and resolve it with me before 2008 ended, so that we may start afresh in 2009. She's been too used to being independent and making her own decisions, to suddenly have someone come in and treat you like a baby who doesn't know left from right is indeed a pain in the behind. But I'm so glad this is all settled now, and I can look forward to natalie picking herself up and accepting our friendship once again, doing the follow-up study once again.

When love get overwhelming, it can actually hurt. How interesting.