Fireproofing our marriages

Feel like there are still so many fire escapes left blocked up in case of fire. I hate to say this, but I get the feeling that our marriage are heading towards fire hazards. Don't misunderstand me, we have been doing pretty well even before we became disciples, discipleship only improved our relationship further. Yet with my psychotic condition, I don't know where that'll lead us and our family.

Had my medical review last Friday, doc gave me a whole new cocktail of medicines. Yeah, for those of you unfamiliar with psychosis, we talk about our medicines as 'cocktails'. Simply because we have to get the right portion mixed together to make it work, and not everytime it works. Like this time, didn't change cocktail what, ended up still on the roller coaster, doc had to give me new medicines to 'try' and give it 3 WEEKS for it to take effect. Either he is joking or he thinks I'm a guinae pig...

With a condition like that, where to find energy to fireproof my marriage? I'm a walking zombie when I'm awake, a light, violent sleeper when asleep. The only people who dare to sleep next to me are my Snoopies and teddy bears. How to fireproof the marriage then?? Fortunately Adrian understands how I feel, but I can't take this as an excuse not to fulfill my duty as a wife. I just find it so irksome when he tries to get intimate with me. I know he has his needs and I have mine too, but I really don't know what to do. And the constant need to be on hormones to control my endometriosis really makes me feel robbed of my womanhood, the right to have children the natural way. God, make me feel woman again so that I may serve my husband please. In Your Son's most precious name, Amen.