My Valentine's Gift

I actually hate Valentine's Day. When with my ex-husband, of course during dating we do celebate. But after stay with him become his wife, the next ten years, it just like normal day to me. No flower, no chocolate, no movie, no dinner, no gift, nothing at all. During dating in kingdom, of course my favourite brother (my husband) will celebrate together with me. But only one time. The second year is when we prepare our wedding plus it during Chinese New Year. After married to him, Sigh..... Our Valentine's day, Wedding Anniversay and birthday, he's not around with me. End up i still alone on those three important dates. Dont know why, when comes to those important date (in both Singapore and US), he either send out to oversea or on training.

Did you know my husband is my Valentine's gift from God? Yeah, now you know. I went steady with my husband on 10-February-2004 after midweek service at Singapore Power Building. After five months dating, and six months planing, we get ROM on 5-February-2005. One month later, we got married. We need ROM cert early to apply for paperwork, and also get free air tickets for our honeymoon from my husband's company as our wedding gift. God give me my boyfriend, and let him be my husband. How are all work out?? It all through prayer. My prayer sure works. What i pray for, will comes true. I just pray, trust and believe, God will answer my prayer. I had very strong faith and powerful in prayer. This is my second gifts "prayer" God give to me. My first gift is my "joy".

I still remember, during my heart broken divorced, i pray to God to give me a man. (Veron, you still remember those days?? Our morning prayer.) I list down all those requests that i want this man to have and be. Here's the list: 1) this man must be older than me (my mind cant change, i cant face to married a young husband), 2) must be mature and spiritual than me (i already had two boys, i really don't want to have another man that i have to teach him everything), 3) must have stable job and finance, (to be honest, i never want to be tai tai, i just don't want I'm the one support the family and worry months end need), 4) accept me who i am, 5) must accept my boys as his son (I heard lot of step-parent stories, it really scare me). 6) i want to get married before age 30 (lot of single sisters told me, it very hard to be happen. They pray the same thing, but still never comes true). Am i asked too much from God? I never think about it. I just want a man, not for me, but for my boys. I don't want my boys to grow up without a father. I also don't want them to be laugh and look down because they have no father. I want a man to loves them, care for them, protect them, and do all those man stuffs instead of follow me go shopping malls and sewing shops. I tell God, i don't need husband. Have husband and no husband, does not make any different for me. But to my boys, have a father or not, it big different.

This man come from no where, don't know why he interested in me. He asked me out for date few times, i turn him down. I just scare to hangout with him. The problem i had is my English. Most of you know, my English no really good. I have to talk to a man which their first language is English. Sigh.... Instead of ask me out, this time he asked for my sons. I never suspect what he want from my boys, since my two boys both below age 10. He asked for once, few weeks later asked again, another few weeks later asked my boys again. My boys not only go out with him, but also sleepover at his house. End up my boys really likes him. Every time they comes back, they have no ending stories to tells me what they do. To the point that my boys stay over on Friday night when his group had Bible Talk until Sunday morning he bring my boys to church and passed to me. When comes to Sunday after church for lunch, this three man (my two boys and him) cant wait to tell me what happen during the weekends. I actually feels very noise when three of them try to talks. But they just laugh when talking no stop. I really don't know what happen or so funny, they just get along.

Until Veron break the new to me. He really want to build relationship with me. Veron encourage me to try it out, if don't work out it fine. After two months dating, we nearly break off. He feels that i not really serious with this relationship. I don't care for him, don't open much to him, don't trust what he say (forgive me, i just cant trust man. I don't care in Kingdom or world, i just don't trust man). He told me, he really want this relationship to work, not just play around. So i honest to him, i don't need him. I looking a father for my boys, not a husband for me. If he cant accept it, just end this relationship here. Guess what? He told me, he really loves my boys. He don't mind to be father to my boys. He loves to have kids. That's how our relationship start allover again to know each other until the day we married.

Does God answer all my prayer? The answer is yes. Every single of them, nothing is missing. 1) my husband is 6 years older than me, 2) he not only mature and spiritual, but also serving and giving too, 3) he works in Government job, market is bad, he still have his job, he also can save money too 4) Of course, I'm the only woman in the family. Ha ha ha...., 5) even now i had a baby that belong to him. He still don't have favouritism. Every time he back from oversea, he will spent time with two older boys. They doing things (only three of them): watch movies, play Wii, watch westing, watch baseballs games in stadium (my husband don't like sports, but my boys do), and some outdoor stuffs that i and my baby are not allow to go 6) i get married at age 28.

But still i spent my important dates without him. Until recent, i think back. God actually is my Valentine. I asked for a father for my boys, but not a husband. Of course those important dates, my husband is not around. God actually waiting for me to celebrate those important dates with Him. Without God give to me, my boys still have no father. This coming Valentine's Day, i should give back to God. God already give me a wonderful and special gift. This year, I'm going to prepare a wonderful dinner (bake salmon fish) and great dessert (Love-shape cheesecake) to have with my spiritual husband (God) on dinner table. God is really my true husband. Only He there for me 24/7 and know everything better than myself, my parent, my friends. Looking forward to the day comes. Father, I Loves You SO.... Much.

Love you
Diana