It's the time of the year again. In another 10 hours or so we'd have stepped into year 2009. What a time for reflections and showing gratefulness, making resolutions and confessions. Not exactly an easy task though, especially if it's on the blog for all to see. But we as disciples of Christ, what have we got to hide from anybody?

Resolutions have been made with progress covered, so I'm not going to touch on this topic this time round. But I'd like to show my appreciation to many sisters and brothers who have helped Adrian and I grow spiritually and were there when we needed them most. Veron, Lay Choo and Pauline, thank you for babysitting for us for 6 days when I desperately needed a break and just ran away to KL for an escapade in November, leaving the 2 kids with you. Thank you for the meticulous care and concern you've showered them, to the extent of doing their laundry, such that I have nothing else to do when I returned from my escapade! Lay Choo, thanks for being there always when I needed help or a listening ear or some sound advice, your friendship is so precious to me and my family. Pauline, I'm sorry if I've hurt you unintentionally, but I'm glad we've sorted out our differences. Right now I don't know what I can do without you staying so close to me, ready to meet me any moment for a short prayer or just to listen to me pour out my sorrows and woes.

Ling, Bee and Soon Keow, thanks for the encouragements you've given me over numerous occasions. We may not know each other well, but I look forward to 2009 when I could spend more time knowing you better and establish closer ties with you. Especially Ling, with our kids in the same school and same level, we can come together and discuss their homework eh? :)

Reflecting upon 2008, it has been a pretty fruitful year for me. I started giving tuition from home so that I may spend more time with my kids, and this has resulted in a relationship we now have so close that it has never been before. Towards the end of the year, I started dedicating a day each week to teach students from families with financial difficulties, hoping that they could do better in their studies and stop the vicious cycle of not being to get a well-paid job due to their education level. This I will continue in the new year and the number of students have grown into 3. I hope that God will give me the strength, calm and organisation ability to teach them, as they are from different levels.

Now comes the most difficult part: confessions. It has been quite a challenge to keep up with my 'normal', routine life, let alone my spiritual life. I'm enslaved to my psychiatric medication for life, and that is not exactly a pleasant thing. It takes a lot of discipline to force the medications down my throat at regular hours everyday as they are time released medicines. And the side effects, bloatedness, edema, weight gain, extreme thirst, they are killing me. It's such a great temptation and so easy to conveniently 'forget' about taking them, but I've learnt from past experiences that convenience means suffering, not only to me but to my whole family. I thank God for giving me a pair of lovely twins who understand I need much time-out for myself, and take turns reminding me to take my medicines. With the medicines, I'm drowsy not only at night after the dose, but also throughout the day, so it's almost impossible to keep up with my housework after I'm done with tuition. With situation as such, my struggle with keeping up with my quiet time, the study of Patmos and the reading of New Testament really suffers. So does my marriage. I'm so grateful that God sent such a wonderful and understanding man as Adrian into my life, but no matter how wonderful he is, he is still human. When the going gets tough in the office and he comes back to an unkempt house with a wife half asleep in bed by 8.30pm, it is really no fun. I'm trying hard right now playing with medications to keep me awake long enough to gradually clean up the house, then I will employ a part-time cleaner to clean the house twice a week. Hopefully that will make Adrian's life easier and more willing to come home. And we'll be ready to host disciples from overseas this coming SEA conference.

Dearest sisters, as you can see, I'm realy struggling much in my life, especially with the killer medicines. Please pray for me that I will overcome them and not the other way round, and that I will be more fruitful this coming 2009. I want to make evangelism and saving lost souls/sheep the top of my list, and I need all the prayers I can get. Also my lessons with the 3 needy students, I need organisational skills so that I will not neglect anyone of them.

I thank you for your prayers for I know you'll be praying for me. Amen.